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[V6C]≡ Read Gratis #AllUsers edition by RA Barnes Literature Fiction eBooks

#AllUsers edition by RA Barnes Literature Fiction eBooks



Download As PDF : #AllUsers edition by RA Barnes Literature Fiction eBooks

Download PDF #AllUsers  edition by RA Barnes Literature  Fiction eBooks

Wielder of special powers by night, solemniser of marriages and distributor of healthcare aids & appliances by day, Tarquin lives for the moment. From a position of power in the asylum he torments his opponents and bestows commodes on others. But a dark and evil force is out to upset Tarquin's applecart. Can he discover the culprit and avoid being named, shamed and imprisoned for embezzlement?

"#AllUsers is a satirical novella of earth-shattering literary inconsequence." Mrs Murphy

#AllUsers edition by RA Barnes Literature Fiction eBooks

#AllUsers is a novella, only available as an e-book, written in diary entry style by the protagonist Tarquin Murphy. A quick bit of GoogleFu reveals the true author to be Ruby Barnes, who purportedly created the book after hearing someone say that anyone can write an e-book in an hour.

#AllUsers is a highly entertaining, if at times unbelievable, tale about the trials and tribulations of Tarquin Fin-tim-lin-bin-whin-bim-lim-bus-stop-F’tang-F’tang-Olé-Biscuitbarrel Murphy (yes, really), a local council worker who splits his responsibilities between allocating healthcare aids and appliances, and solemnising (no, not sodomising) marriages. He has an obsession with sell-by dates and practical jokes, a vendetta against the head of HR, and forms an accidental bond with a psychiatrist through the shared act of pilfering cutlery from the staff cantine. When the figures for his aids and appliances orders are found not to add up, external auditors are called in to investigate, leading to consequences that ripple out through Tarquin’s work and social lives.

The formulaic approach – almost every chapter following the exact same sequence of dream, breakfast, work day and evening prank – surprisingly does not start wearing on the reader. Indeed, the effect is the opposite, with the reader looking forward to seeing just what the next dream will be, or what Tarquin will come up with next in his battles against HR and the auditors. The author has a very good grasp of the everyday dramas and politics of office life, focussing on the battles that everyone will be familiar with; the right and proper way to hang the toilet roll, the most loved and most reviled parking spaces in the car park, the choice of biscuits available in the cantine.

Where this novella falls down is that, at times, it goes just a step too far. All of Tarquin’s pranks involve sending a mass email around his place of work. Quite often, the target of his jokes is the person who has caused him most grief during the day. The fact that he goes undiscovered throughout the narrative, therefore, seems more than slightly dubious. His full name, as well – a reference to Monty Python – crosses the line from comic to ludicrous. But, then again, a comic book written on a dare is unlikely meant to be taken seriously.

So if you enjoy comedy, and are able to suspend your disbelief in places, then give #AllUsers a read. Even if you’re pushed for time, it’s short enough that you can read it in a night or two, and it will have you giggling through work weeks to come.

[...]

Product details

  • File Size 643 KB
  • Print Length 100 pages
  • Simultaneous Device Usage Unlimited
  • Publisher Marble City Publishing (December 16, 2013)
  • Publication Date December 16, 2013
  • Sold by  Digital Services LLC
  • Language English
  • ASIN B00GOZO164

Read #AllUsers  edition by RA Barnes Literature  Fiction eBooks

Tags : #AllUsers - Kindle edition by R.A. Barnes. Download it once and read it on your Kindle device, PC, phones or tablets. Use features like bookmarks, note taking and highlighting while reading #AllUsers.,ebook,R.A. Barnes,#AllUsers,Marble City Publishing,FICTION Humorous,FICTION Mystery & Detective Cozy
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#AllUsers edition by RA Barnes Literature Fiction eBooks Reviews


Given what I am about to write, it might seem odd that I’ve awarded this book four stars, an excellent rating if ever there was one. But I shall explain why in due course.

This is possibly the most reprehensible, irresponsible piece of writing I’ve ever perused. My reasons for maintaining this are manifold. I shall enunciate them henceforth.

First the “hero”, Mr Murphy, routinely eats foodstuffs for breakfast which are not only for the most part inherently unhealthy, but which are at or even past their government-mandated expiration dates! What kind of message does this send out to readers? That it’s “funny” to eat dangerous food? That such behaviour is somehow “edgy” or “daring”? Appalling!

Next the aforementioned Murphy accuses a “mental health consultant” - a psychiatrist, in other words, though his patience-challenging and lachrymal-duct-stimulating verbosity must needs have it otherwise - of being a cutlery thief. This is a recurring motif throughout the story, and is once again played for laughs. Such a slur on the venerable and esteemed profession of psychiatry cannot simply dismissed as the cheap shot some might judge it as, but should rather be seen for what it is, namely a sustained and spiteful attack on all that makes the British Isles such a sane place. Horrendous!

Furthermore an (admittedly suitably repellent) American character mishears the word “solemniser” as - I can’t bring myself to utter it, but you’ll know what I mean when I censor it thus *********. There. Disgusting, is it not? That such filth can creep into the written language of a nation that produced such wholesome God-fearing bastions of literature as James Joyce, Oscar Wilde, and Martin McDonagh, is nothing short of repellent. Revolting!

(I shan’t even begin to talk about the grossly irresponsible recommendations for toilet-roll hanging, because the author clearly doesn’t believe his own propaganda in this regard. It’s a so-called “wind-up”, and from the wrong side of the roll.)

Why, then, the four stars? It’s because this book, inadvertently, does the world a service. It serves to warn us against the rising tide of filth and sordid brainwashing being spewed out by the pens of the likes of Mr Tarquin Murphy and his ilk. It places the enemy’s head above the literary parapet, as it were, and allows such good folk as remain on this earth to take well-aimed potshots at it/them with arrows fired from bows of decency.

So thank you, Mr Tarquin Murphy. And may your dreams no longer trouble you.
#AllUsers is a novella, only available as an e-book, written in diary entry style by the protagonist Tarquin Murphy. A quick bit of GoogleFu reveals the true author to be Ruby Barnes, who purportedly created the book after hearing someone say that anyone can write an e-book in an hour.

#AllUsers is a highly entertaining, if at times unbelievable, tale about the trials and tribulations of Tarquin Fin-tim-lin-bin-whin-bim-lim-bus-stop-F’tang-F’tang-Olé-Biscuitbarrel Murphy (yes, really), a local council worker who splits his responsibilities between allocating healthcare aids and appliances, and solemnising (no, not sodomising) marriages. He has an obsession with sell-by dates and practical jokes, a vendetta against the head of HR, and forms an accidental bond with a psychiatrist through the shared act of pilfering cutlery from the staff cantine. When the figures for his aids and appliances orders are found not to add up, external auditors are called in to investigate, leading to consequences that ripple out through Tarquin’s work and social lives.

The formulaic approach – almost every chapter following the exact same sequence of dream, breakfast, work day and evening prank – surprisingly does not start wearing on the reader. Indeed, the effect is the opposite, with the reader looking forward to seeing just what the next dream will be, or what Tarquin will come up with next in his battles against HR and the auditors. The author has a very good grasp of the everyday dramas and politics of office life, focussing on the battles that everyone will be familiar with; the right and proper way to hang the toilet roll, the most loved and most reviled parking spaces in the car park, the choice of biscuits available in the cantine.

Where this novella falls down is that, at times, it goes just a step too far. All of Tarquin’s pranks involve sending a mass email around his place of work. Quite often, the target of his jokes is the person who has caused him most grief during the day. The fact that he goes undiscovered throughout the narrative, therefore, seems more than slightly dubious. His full name, as well – a reference to Monty Python – crosses the line from comic to ludicrous. But, then again, a comic book written on a dare is unlikely meant to be taken seriously.

So if you enjoy comedy, and are able to suspend your disbelief in places, then give #AllUsers a read. Even if you’re pushed for time, it’s short enough that you can read it in a night or two, and it will have you giggling through work weeks to come.

[...]
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